Listening to: Chantek, Altimeet
a life isn’t a life when there is no barrier obstructing your pathway. its like a crossroad whereby you have to decide which way to go. and i came to yet another one of those wrong decision, after encountering so many twist & turn in the past years. my love life has been nothing less than tumultuous ever since i was in school. i couldn’t quite figure out why i couldnt seem to find the one to be with like everyone else and when im in one, its was either long & complicated or short & chaotic. ending with the most painful heartache. so recently, i discovered that there might be a reason behind this failure in my love department. without realizing it, there’s a cycle i keep going through . a pattern that i subconsciously keep making. in the end leading me to the same path i was in. when it comes to the matter of the heart, i keep on making the wrong choice. my judgment on my own love life is poorly made, i made reckless mistakes, i couldnt accept someone new cause i couldnt let go of the past and when i finally let go of the past, he has already found someone new & i never listen to peoples advise and often ignore my own instinct. honestly, its hard to admit but this is the only plausible explanations for the things that has happen in my life or specifically, my love life. of course i didnt entirely rule out the possibilities that i’ve been involved with jerks. but who made the decision to go out with these jerks? who took the chances with these guys despite what people say & instincts told her? who fooled herself into thinking that if you close your eyes and hold on tight you can make even the worst relationship works? jet.
i wish to relive the days i felt alive, where even a long bus ride made me happy.
Her self.
ain othman
